Yes! 50 secrets from the science of persuasion

Ah, the powers of positive thinking. Turning that frown upside down. Just works miracles, doesn’t it? Just ask Banksy (picture opposite).

But hold on, haven’t we heard one too many ‘yeses’ recently? As in ‘Yes we can?’ Don’t get me wrong, it was a great slogan and a great campaign for Barack Obama. But now that every second middle manager is mumbling it,  attempting to boost morale after yet another round of downsizing, it may have started to wear a bit thin.

Isn’t it time for a bit of ‘Yes, I will?’ Preferably in reply to one of your own questions/propositions/orders? For instance “Could I borrow your thesaurus for a minute?” Affirmative, all right, amen, aye, beyond a doubt, by all means, certainly, definitely, exactly, fine, gladly, good, good enough, granted, indubitably, just so, most assuredly, naturally, of course, okay, positively, precisely, right on, sure thing, surely, true, undoubtedly, unquestionably, very well, willingly, without fail, yea, yep.

I would believe so. And that is where Goldstein, Martin and Cialdini come in. Two Ph.D.’s and one normal human being, spreading the gospel on how to convince other people. Their book contains fifty secrets from the science of persuasion. Vulgarized and chopped into easily digestible three-page chapters.

So what do we learn? First, that people are bald sheep who drive cars. Make them believe that "everyone else is doing it", then watch them dive off that cliff . Or, to use an example from the book: watch them recycle those hotel room towels. Or at least 25% more of them.

This also means that if there is certain behaviour/attitude you don't like, you'd better not focus attention on its prevalence. In other words: if you are looking for compassion, putting 'nobody likes me' on your facebook profile is not such a hot idea.

Now, there are a lot of different themes to persuasion: reciprocity, commitment, rhymes, favourable comparisons, likeness, seeking input and I am forgetting a few. Some principles may seem contradictory or difficult to put into practice. How do you do someone a favour in order to get one in return, whilst not giving the impression that you are expecting anything in return, all the while making sure that they are aware of the value of the favour you did them and getting across exactly which favour you want from them?

Maybe the whole idea is to pick the right hint at the right time. Let's cross fingers for that sequel.

Then, of course, there is a thin line between 'persuasion' and 'manipulation'. The further you get in the book, the more manipulative techniques become. How about this one: Giving compliments. Call someone generous and they will try to live up to your expectations. Suckas! And lookie here. People seem to be able to spot the difference between an authentic and a fake smile. Does that mean you shouldn't fake smiles? Hmmm, the authors suggest you think of something you genuinely like before approaching your target. ;-)

And if that doesn't work, you can always try sleep deprivation, exposing heml to the final scene of Bambi (a sad person wants to change its circumstances so is willing to sell lower and buy higher) or just serving them a dose of 1,3,7-trimethylxanthin (also known as a cup of coffee).

Now in all fairness to the authors: they are very much (almost painfully) aware of the ethical implications of persuasion. A bit like a chmistry teacher who tells you 'if you add these two substances the school will explode'. Then telling you not to. But, hey, that is a big part of the appeal of this book. It comes highly recommended.

So do as millions of others are doing, come back soon for more Bookambish!

Moby Dick vs The Old Man And The Sea

As long as we are on the subject of fish, why not pit Great American Fish Novel against Great American Fish Novel? In the red corner we have a real Heavyweight, weighing in at over 600 pages: Herman Melville’s Moby Dick! In the blue corner we have the mean lean aquamarine “The Old Man and the Sea” by Ernest Hemingway. Slim, but a real Nobel Prize fighter.

Two books with a vast reputation, more often referred to than read.

I plead guilty. I read and savoured The Old Man and the Sea, then reread it twice. But in Moby Dick, I struggled my way to chapter 9 (The Sermon), less than one tenth. Then I buried it in the depths of my library. How very peculiar, my expectations had been completely opposite.

The Old Man and the Sea is not exactly a catchy title, is it? It conjures up images of a pensioner, staring at the horizon, mumbling an endless, incoherent narrative, laced with jargon and less than interesting anecdotes. But what the heck, it came at a discount and I was going on a holiday by the sea. Why not give it a try? Little did I know what a gripping tale, epic struggle of man against fish I would discover. My words cannot do it justice, so I will just tell you that it is my favourite novel, and go on to our fat friend instead.

Moby Dick, from which I expected, well, an epic struggle between man and fish (or mammal if you wish). Hold your horses. It starts with an etymological analysis of the word ‘whale’. Next, some six pages of extracts from books or newspaper articles, collected on account of the fact that they mention a whale in some form or shape. OK, we’ve had the commercials. Let the game begin. Only, it doesn’t. Instead of meeting Captain Ahab right away, first you get to follow the excruciating perambulations of a certain Ishmael. One advice: Do as I did, cut to the chase. I will admit that the three last chapters are quite good (“There she blows!” At long last)

Maybe, one day when I am older and living by the sea, suffering a mild heart condition, I will be ready for the other chapters. In the meanwhile, I will reread The Old Man and the Sea, again and again!

Fish that fake orgasms and other zoological curiosities

I first saw an ad for this book on the BBC website, next to one of their feature articles on Mother Nature. A great cover and a great title, for sure (notice the cigarette). Further info was hard to come by, though. Hardly any decent reviews, just the same old promotional talk taken straight from the publishing house. I mulled over it for a while, then decided to order it, as a hit or miss buy. Good news: It’s a winner!

On my bookshelf, you will find very few books on animals. Animal farm (Orwell, great) and Jonathan Livingston Seagull (Bach, dreadful), that’s about it. When I was a kid, I was well into my ‘creatures of the deep’ books. I had tons. For my favourites, you got the pictures separately by collecting points from cereal and soap boxes. I could spend hours studying food pyramids and habitats, learning Latin names by heart. By the time I was twelve, though, I couldn’t be bothered any longer. In short, I’m not much of an animal lover.

My motivation in buying this book was not so much with animals as with their dark side. And the animal kingdom is not lacking in antisocial behaviour. You will learn that, given the choice between an alcoholic and a non-alcoholic drink, one vervet monkey in twenty will become an instant binge drinker. Most are moderate drinkers, whereas one in seven abstains completely (or could these just be recovering alky apes?). The female house sparrow pays a visit to her partner's girlfriends, only to kill the young in their nests. No alimony for you, bitch! Providing ‘ant colony’ with a whole new meaning, some of these little fellas will invade the nest of a rival species, kidnap their eggs, then raise these young to do all the dirty work. Next time you need an excuse for transgressing, just consult this little gem. Chances are, you will be able to retort ‘It’s just nature’s way, judge. After all, the moustached tamarind does it all the time!’

The naughty stories are nice, but there is more. There are some cool animal superpowers (bees tracking bombs by scent, flying snakes) or fascinating facts on evolution (ants evolved from wasps). You have the property market of hermit crabs, where finding an abandoned shell will cause an entire group to swap houses. And one of my favourites: Fire ants facing a flood will cling together, creating a living raft to reach safer ground.

But how do you know all of this is not just meaningless drivel and urban legend, in the vein of Karl Pilkington’s monkey news? Well, Matt Walker has a degree in zoology and he quotes all of his sources in the back. Most seem solid enough (Journal of Experimental Biology etc), very few if any mentioning ‘Me mate’s sister went to the Indian Jungle and saw it with her own eyes’.

So, anydownsides? Well, I admit, I’ve been cherry picking a bit for the selection above. Not all facts are as interesting. You could live without the knowledge that most primates prefer to cradle their babies in their left rather than their right arm. Plus, the lack of narrative makes it hard to read for hours on end.

For a tube ride or a visit to the smallest room, however, this is the perfect companion. And you may want to remember a few of these fun facts. Next time conversation stalls at a baby shower, you just mention “Did you know that the nine-banded armadillo gives birth to her young up to three years after insemination? Really, it does. It just waits for the right environmental conditions for raising her young to arise, then implants the fertilized egg.” Or, better still, just start humming this little tune

Bye! More soon.

P.S. Allright, if you insist, I‘ll spill the beans: The female brown trout is known to fake orgasms. She uses her superior acting skills to fool the less attractive males with whom she mates. Once she has convinced the ugly sod that he will be a father, he swims off to brag to his friends. The female then goes in search of a more attractive male with whom to get real. (Sometimes the female will not succeed in finding a better mate. She will then become old and bitter. If one of these ends up on your plate, you’re bound to taste it. Still, you should always pretend to find her really, really tasty).