But hold on, haven’t we heard one too many ‘yeses’ recently? As in ‘Yes we can?’ Don’t get me wrong, it was a great slogan and a great campaign for Barack Obama. But now that every second middle manager is mumbling it, attempting to boost morale after yet another round of downsizing, it may have started to wear a bit thin.
Isn’t it time for a bit of ‘Yes, I will?’ Preferably in reply to one of your own questions/propositions/orders? For instance “Could I borrow your thesaurus for a minute?” Affirmative, all right, amen, aye, beyond a doubt, by all means, certainly, definitely, exactly, fine, gladly, good, good enough, granted, indubitably, just so, most assuredly, naturally, of course, okay, positively, precisely, right on, sure thing, surely, true, undoubtedly, unquestionably, very well, willingly, without fail, yea, yep.
I would believe so. And that is where Goldstein, Martin and Cialdini come in. Two Ph.D.’s and one normal human being, spreading the gospel on how to convince other people. Their book contains fifty secrets from the science of persuasion. Vulgarized and chopped into easily digestible three-page chapters.
So what do we learn? First, that people are bald sheep who drive cars. Make them believe that "everyone else is doing it", then watch them dive off that cliff . Or, to use an example from the book: watch them recycle those hotel room towels. Or at least 25% more of them.
This also means that if there is certain behaviour/attitude you don't like, you'd better not focus attention on its prevalence. In other words: if you are looking for compassion, putting 'nobody likes me' on your facebook profile is not such a hot idea.
Now, there are a lot of different themes to persuasion: reciprocity, commitment, rhymes, favourable comparisons, likeness, seeking input and I am forgetting a few. Some principles may seem contradictory or difficult to put into practice. How do you do someone a favour in order to get one in return, whilst not giving the impression that you are expecting anything in return, all the while making sure that they are aware of the value of the favour you did them and getting across exactly which favour you want from them?
Maybe the whole idea is to pick the right hint at the right time. Let's cross fingers for that sequel.
Then, of course, there is a thin line between 'persuasion' and 'manipulation'. The further you get in the book, the more manipulative techniques become. How about this one: Giving compliments. Call someone generous and they will try to live up to your expectations. Suckas! And lookie here. People seem to be able to spot the difference between an authentic and a fake smile. Does that mean you shouldn't fake smiles? Hmmm, the authors suggest you think of something you genuinely like before approaching your target. ;-)
And if that doesn't work, you can always try sleep deprivation, exposing heml to the final scene of Bambi (a sad person wants to change its circumstances so is willing to sell lower and buy higher) or just serving them a dose of 1,3,7-trimethylxanthin (also known as a cup of coffee).
Now in all fairness to the authors: they are very much (almost painfully) aware of the ethical implications of persuasion. A bit like a chmistry teacher who tells you 'if you add these two substances the school will explode'. Then telling you not to. But, hey, that is a big part of the appeal of this book. It comes highly recommended.
So do as millions of others are doing, come back soon for more Bookambish!
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